YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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