he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
