His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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