Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
