zippers are such a cool invention
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
