We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
