Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
