I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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