first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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