i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
