I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
