this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
