I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
