He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
