i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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