I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
