sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Every concussion has its silver lining
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
