epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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