He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Someone shattered a urinal.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
