My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
