he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
