I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
