Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
