Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
