I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
