I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
