I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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