someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize