Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Even my vagina gasped.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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