how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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