I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
