Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
