was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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