She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
