And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize