How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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