I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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