went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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