lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize