You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
