you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
