bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
there's paper in my vomit.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
