Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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