I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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