ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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