if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize