Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
