Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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