Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
