We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
