How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
