Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
