also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
