It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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