i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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