What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
