Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
