8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
