We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
