You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
