a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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