Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
